Guides Sex Toys

Introducing Sex Toys into the Bedroom

Introducing Sex Toys into the Bedroom

It could be that you’re looking to get your partner a gift this year or maybe you’re just interested in trying something a little different. But, when incorporating a new sex toy in your relationship, although sex toys can add a sense of spice to your relationship, there are many things to take into consideration as it can get a bit tricky. What may work wonderfully during a bit of me-time doesn’t always translate to that sought-after outer-body experience. There are oodles of rabbits, bullets, eggs and even wands out there for that adventurous woman……. but it’s few and far between that you find couples sex toys that keep leaving you both wanting more.


Wait until you’ve had a few rendezvous together and have built up a good level of trust both inside and out of the bedroom. You can help speed up the process by giving your partner lots of praise when he hits those pleasure spots – once he’s self-assured that he’s satisfying you sexually, proposing the idea of a sex toy to heighten both of your pleasure will be far better received.


One way to ease the subject of sex toys into the conversation is to find some articles on sex toys and the amount of pleasure you can have with them, then introduce it to him by saying: “I found this interesting blog on how sex toys can be a lot of fun, have a read”. This allows you to see your partner’s reaction; it’ll also allow a discussion about sex toys to flow naturally between you. Another fun and popular way is to make it part of your pillow talk! (Start with, “I think it would be so hot to …” We’re sure you’ll find an appropriate end to that sentence.)


The main thought that goes through a man’s head when this topic comes up is “Am I not good enough?”. It’s imperative to be able to explain why you’d like to introduce a sex toy. Make it clear that a sex toy is no substitute for the emotional closeness you feel when you are sexually intimate with him. The last thing you want him to feel is a sense of inadequacy. Focus on what you already love about him and reassure that big softie that it will help add even more fun and reach a new level of intimacy and as always, he’s your superhero!


Shopping online at an online sex toy shop like Belle De Soir is a great chance for you and your partner to connect and discuss toys you may like. Being able to browse in the comfort of your own home will make it easier for you to talk openly about what you may like to try. Once you become accustomed to looking at different sex toys together it will be a lot of fun too! At the same time, this provides another opportunity for you to gauge how he feels towards it…. If your partner is intimidated by the thought of a toy “replacing him”, begin with toys that are less threatening: a small one that doesn’t look exactly like a penis may be a good introductory toy…… like the Flower Power Bullet.


To avoid your partner seeing a sex toy as competition you can start off with a remote toy that lets him remain in control of your pleasure. It’ll be a very carnal experience for him to control the powerful sensations as he teases you to orgasm from a distance, plus he gets to feel he’s wearing the big boy pants.


Last but not least, we’d like to put forward our thoughts for our favourite couple’s vibrators…… The infamous We Vibe Classic. Granted, it’s a bit of a mouth-full and sounds quite the opposite of a romantic gift, however…… unlike many other toys, it is one you wear. It’s Controlled by an App that can be easily downloaded on both IOs and Android devices, it can be controlled from anywhere in the world through Bluetooth and the app allows for you to facetime whilst doing it…..errr…. using it. With The We Vibe Classic, you can create and name your preferred vibration patterns, strength and duration, which makes for a smooth process of bringing him out mid-adult-cuddle.

Guides Sex Toys

New ways to use your sex toys

New ways to use your sex toys

If you’ve got a wand, a bullet vibe, or a strap on, hopefully our tips on New ways to use your sex toys will get your mind racing with ideas! So, you’ve bought that amazing bullet vibrator and had a lot of fun with it, but you’re looking for a few new ways you can use it in the bedroom. That’s where we come in! Most sex toys can be used in a variety of different ways to provide a range of sensations, but we’re here to show you some new ways to use your sex toys.

A couple of general tips before we start: communication is the best skill to have in the bedroom, so when you’re trying out new uses for toys, ask your partner to give you lots of feedback. While we can give you some ideas, you never know you’ve hit the jackpot until you get those appreciative ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s. And secondly – always make sure you read the instructions. While you’re usually fine to use dildos anally as well as vaginally, there are some toys which are designed for a specific use, and shouldn’t be put elsewhere: kegel balls, for instance, are usually designed for vaginal use rather than anal, so if you’re looking for an anal toy it’s often best to browse the ones that are specifically aimed at that.

With health and safety out of the way – let’s begin! Here are three popular sex toys, along with suggestions on ways you can use them that your partner won’t necessarily expect…

Wand toys

Believe it or not, the stories about wand massagers such as the Doxy are true – they can be used for massage as well as masturbation! If you’ve been turned on to the joys of a Doxy wand, it might be hard for you to think of using it as a massage tool rather than a sex toy, but trust us – it works!

If you’ve got a wand toy (and we believe every home should have one!) then pressing the end firmly into muscles can be incredibly relaxing. Begin on a low setting, then gradually get stronger.

Although they might not have the same effect on a man as on a woman, the heavy throbbing vibrations can still feel good to him, especially during the build up to sex. Why not begin by giving him a deep massage, pressing the wand into his muscles – thighs, back, bum – then gradually moving down between his legs. It’ll certainly give him something new to think about!

Bullet vibes

When you think of bullet vibrators your first thought is probably the clitoris. Compact and easy to use, bullet vibes are great for clitoral stimulation. No matter what position you’re in, it’s usually easy to hold a bullet against your most sensitive spots and add an extra tingle of pleasure.

But they can be used for other things too. Although the nerve endings on a penis aren’t as close together and numerous as they are on a clit, there are areas of the penis which are more sensitive than others. The frenulum is the area just below the glans – where the foreskin joins to the head. Using lube and a gentle touch with a bullet vibe you can gently stimulate this area, and give him a brand new sensation.

Don’t forget the nipples too – male nipples can be just as sensitive as female ones, and bullet vibes are often really handy for getting the precise stimulation to that area. If you’re looking for a long, slow build up, using bullet vibrators on your own or your partner’s nipples can be a fantastic way to tease during foreplay.


If you read and enjoyed our list of top dominant blogs, and fancy having a go at taking control, there are plenty of things you can do that flip his expectations and keep him on his toes.

Asking him to wear a strap on might initially seem strange, but the aim of the game is to get him to ‘serve’ you, in the purest sense he can. Let him know that he’s in for a night of servicing you – focusing only on your pleasure. Then, when he wears a strap on to have sex with you, you’re getting everything you want while he longs to feel the pleasure himself.

If you don’t have a strap on, you can get the same effect by giving him one or two of your favourite toys. Whether it’s a dildo, a vibe, or a wand toy, teaching him to use them on you exactly as you like it can be powerfully erotic – and gives you the chance to take control.

So there you have it – three new ways to use your sex toys. Do you have any other suggestions? Please do share them in the comments!

Guides Sex

Phone Sex

How not to have phone sex (and how to do it right)

Ever since we’ve had phones, we’ve had phone sex. Just as we’ll always be tempted to use digital cameras to snap sexy pictures, tech will always be used for sex – we just can’t help ourselves. This week we’re giving a run-down on phone sex: how not to do it, and some tips to make it amazing.

This week a Councillor in Wigan was disciplined for running up a £2,400 mobile phone bill by calling sex chat lines. Robert Bleakley – the councillor in question – has had his phone removed and has been banned from speaking to women in the workplace.

That second bit might sound a bit harsh to you – after all, calling sex chat lines isn’t exactly a crime – until you realise that he broke two of the key rules about how not to have phone sex.

How not to have phone sex

Rule one: never ever use your work phone. Just don’t. Same goes for browsing porn. If your phone was given to you by your employer, they can take it off you at any time, so it’s not the best place to store your secrets. It’s hard to believe that we have say this, but it turns out that politicians just aren’t as sensible as the rest of us.

Rule two: always be respectful. While there might not be any ‘in and out’, phone sex is still sex of a kind, so respect for the other person is vital. This is something the councillor forgot, demonstrating instead a complete lack of respect for women. When they seized the phone his bosses found texts describing women as “just cooking and washing material.” Charming.

Rule three: if you get caught breaking the rules above, thank your lucky stars you weren’t fired, because you probably deserve to be. Still, we assume none of our readers would fall into these traps, and for those of you who fancy some dirty chat, here are our tips on how to have great phone sex.

Better ways to have phone sex

Practise! Whether you’re just on your own (there’s no harm in talking to yourself – it’s all in a good cause!) or with your partner, swapping stories back and forward to try and work out what you both find hot, practise really does make perfect.

Perhaps the most important thing is to understand which words each of you likes to use. We’re not all erotica writers, and there’s nothing worse than a misplaced ‘throbbing member’ if you’re trying to keep your partner horny. Likewise you don’t necessarily want to get too medical and sound like you’re in the doctor’s surgery.

Accessorize! As you have to balance your phone in one hand it can sometimes be difficult to masturbate during phone sex. So it’s the perfect excuse to pick up your favourite toy ・ not that you really need an excuse, of course! Most sex toys are pretty easy to use one-handed, although men might prefer to use something like the Pulse ・ a masturbator that can even be used hands-free. For women we’d recommend whatever your favourite vaginal or clitoral vibe is ・ a rabbit vibrator, for instance, or a simple clitoral vibrator. The main thing is it should be something fairly quiet – after all, you don’t want something to drown out your practised sex chat.

If you want to really push the boat out, there are sex toys available that your partner can use on you even if he’s not in the same room. The amazing We Vibe 4 Plus comes with an app that controls the vibrations. Give your partner control of the app, and he can adjust the vibrations even if he’s on another continent, hearing your reaction to the different vibration patterns and building you to an intense orgasm.

As we said at the beginning, wherever there’s a technology, someone will be using it for sex. And with the advances in both sex toys and apps, combining the two so that you can play with your partner even over a long distance – surely this is the ultimate phone sex experience? At least, until someone invents the next big thing…

Guides Sex Toys Vibrators

Sex toys through airport security

Can I take my sex toys through airport security?

One of the top things that caught our eye this week was a fantastic agony aunt question over on A worried reader wanted to take some sexy toys on holiday floggers, cuffs, that kind of thing, and asked if they would get into trouble with airport security.

We’ve heard of people getting worried about battery-operated toys – no one wants to have their bag searched only for security to pull out a rabbit vibrator in front of the whole terminal – but this was an intriguing twist.

The question? Am I likely to get in trouble for bringing BDSM equipment through airport security?

The wonderful Molly Moore gave her answer, and it’s eye-opening! Sure, she says, there might be problems with anything that’s seen as a weapon, but she and her partner have:

“travelled back and forth between the USA and the UK with a vast array of toys in our suitcase including floggers, crops, lockable wrist cuffs, rope, candles, a Wartenberg wheel, butt plugs and a selection of insertables, mainly glass dildos.”

If you’re planning a sexy stay abroad, visit the link above to see the rest of her advice.

Can I take vibrators through airport security?

Of course it’s not just bondage equipment and whips that you need to be aware of if you’re traveling to other countries. Anything that buzzes or vibrates is a no-no in your hand luggage. That’s not to say you can’t take toys with you (what better way to make the most of that special hotel room?) but you should always remove any batteries before packing, and ideally stow them in your checked luggage if you want to avoid embarassment at the gate.

If you’re taking mains-powered toys, there’s an extra step to consider: the plug sockets and voltage of the country you’re traveling to.

Toys sold in the UK are safe to use in our power outlets, which have a voltage of 230 and a frequency of 50 Hz, but depending on where you are in the world the voltage may range from 100 to 240 volts. Check the instructions on the toy (or toys!) you’re planning to bring, and the information on electrical supply for the country you’re going to. When you’ve got this info to hand, have a look at the advice given by the Electrical Safety Council (now called ‘Electrical Safety First’) about using electrical appliances abroad. They can help you work out whether you need to buy a plug adaptor and/or voltage converters and adaptors that you might want to buy, as well as how to use electrical appliances safely on your holiday.

The good news is that this advice applies no matter what you’re using – be it a rechargeable vibrator or a pair of hair straighteners! If you check the instructions and make sure you pack any converters you might need, your toys can come with you on holiday and ensure you make the most of a fun and sexy trip.

Guides Sex

Top sex mistakes, and how to avoid them

Top sex mistakes, and how to avoid them

We all know the feeling – you’re halfway through a steamy session, and something happens that completely kills the mood. If it’s your partner’s faux pas (falling off the bed, saying something funny during dirty talk) it might be easy to laugh it off. But what if it’s your own mistake? That cringing feeling can work like a bucket of cold water.

Recently a survey quizzed people in the UK on the most common sex mistakes, and the list makes for cringeworthy reading.

Top of the list is ‘misdirected thrusting’, which could probably cover a number of things – from accidentally humping the duvet to the more painful moments when a guy pulls out a bit too far and bashes into you on the in-stroke.

Common sex mistakes

We were surprised that number two on the list is so common – calling out the wrong person’s name in bed. A whopping 42 per cent of people said they’d experienced this. Are there really that many forgetful people in the country? Perhaps our memories just don’t work as well when we’re in the heat of the moment.

‘Falling off the bed’ came in at number three, and it’s happened to 39 per cent of people. We think this is good news as it implies a bit of adventurous lovemaking, which we’re obviously keen on! Perhaps we should start selling crash helmets.

Other mistakes included sustaining injuries (29%) or falling asleep during sex (21%), while others reported getting stuck in restraints.

How to avoid sex mistakes

There are some simple ways to avoid some of these mistakes. If you’re using bondage equipment and restraints, always make sure you practise securing and unfastening them elsewhere before trying them on an eager partner. If you’re using bondage rope, make sure you’ve got a pair of scissors to hand in case you need to get your partner out of them in a hurry.

A fair few of the mistakes can be solved with better communication. Saying the wrong thing during dirty talk can be a bit of a mood killer, but if you have a chat with your partner about their turn ons and turn offs when it comes to their favourite sex words, this is a mistake that will only ever happen once. And as for ‘misdirected thrusting’, a quiet word should be enough to point your partner in the right direction.

Above all, though, while our hearts go out to those who have cringed through a few sex mistakes of their own, the best sex is always going to put you at risk of some of these problems. Having great sex is like doing anything really well – you have to accept that sometimes it’s not going to be perfect. After all, if we want to avoid falling off the bed, the easiest way is to avoid more adventurous positions – but where’s the fun in that?

Have you or your partner ever made any of these sex mistakes? And how did you deal with it?

Guides Sex

Four lessons you never knew would make you better in bed

Four lessons you never knew would make you better in bed

We learn a lot at school that we don’t always take forward in life – whether it’s an equation to help us calculate pi or an interpretation of a Shakespearian sonnet, quite a lot of what we’ve learned seems a bit… well… useless when you go out into the world.

But there are plenty of skills that you might have picked up when you were younger that can come in extraordinarily handy in the bedroom…

Modern Languages

We might all have struggled through “comment t’appelle tu?” in French lessons, but those people who took it a bit further have a huge advantage when it comes to sexy chat – especially if they’ve learnt one of the traditionally ‘sexy’ languages (such as Italian).

Whether your partner speaks a foreign language or not, whispering a few sexy-sounding things in their ear could get them right into the mood. If you can’t speak another language? Don’t worry – there’s always time to learn if you want to, and in the meantime here are three handy phrases that you can use to cheat:

Something romantic:

English: “I’m crazy for you” Spanish “Estoy loca por ti”

Something seductive:

English: “I want to see you naked” Italian “Mi piacerebbe da pazzi vederti nudo.”

Or something straight to the point:

English: “Your cock is so big” Japanese “Chinko ga ookii.”

Physical Education

OK, maybe this one’s cheating, because we all know that being fit and healthy can be a real bonus in the bedroom – better stamina, for a start, and the ability to stretch yourself into weird and wonderful new positions. But there can be even more benefits to certain physical activity that you may not have considered.

Yoga, for instance, is not only good for your core strength, stamina, and focus, it can also potentially help with sexual problems. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2007 suggested that practising yoga could help those who suffer from premature ejaculation.

Extra curricular activities

Ever been in the scouts/guides? Well, those lessons in ropes and knots certainly come in handy when your partner is eager to be tied to your bed. Although Cosmopolitan magazine makes it sound easy to dominate someone using just silk scarves and a sexy voice, if you want to graduate onto bondage rope you need to know a knot or two.

While some of us spend a while learning how to get bondage knots just right, those with scouting or guiding experience are streaks ahead.

If you want to develop your own skills, it’s best to start with a good background to make sure you’re playing safely. This excellent free BDSM ebook, by Charlie Hale, gives a good grounding in all kinds of BDSM, including bondage, and there’s a list of recommendations for further reading if you want to be top of the kinky class.

Music lessons

Not only can you impress your partner with a particularly good solo performance, your skills as a musician can come in very handy in the bedroom.

If you play a wind instrument, like the flute or clarinet, you’ve probably learned to be very controlled with your breathing – a definite bonus if you’re giving oral sex. If your instrument is something like the piano or guitar – one that requires quick fingers and skilled hands, then you’re at an advantage when using your hands to make your partner come.

Want to pick up this skill? There are a million and one music tutorials on the web, and this Lifehacker article gives you a great overview of how to get started. The most important thing is to make sure you pick an instrument you love – after all, it’s not sexy if you’re not enjoying it!

So there we have it – four lessons that are pretty damn useful in bed. How did you score? And are there any other tricks you’ve picked up that you reckon could be handy in the bedroom?

Guides Sex

Top Dommes: the perfect antidote to Fifty Shades of Grey

Top Dommes: the perfect antidote to Fifty Shades of Grey

It’s started – with the release of the much-hyped Fifty Shades of Grey trailer this week, you can expect a lot more discussion of dominant guys, submissive loved-up ladies, and the Red Room of Pain. The book that captured many people’s sexual imagination has been simultaneously celebrated for bringing some popular fantasies into the open and criticised for its portrayal of BDSM sex.

In fact, the film has sparked so much debate that you might be suffering from Fifty Shades exhaustion already. If you’re a fan, we’ve embedded the video at the end of the post, for you to enjoy all the tantalising oohs and sultry looks from Jamie Doornan (who plays Christian Grey). If, however, you’re looking for an antidote to Ana Steele, look no further than our round up of the best Domme sex blogs.

Sexy sites with women on top


Sharyn Ferns is the author of Domme Chronicles – a memoir that charts her intensely passionate experiences with dominance. Over on her website – – she posts similar stories as well as snippets of advice and wisdom for those of you who want to explore your own dominant side.

In particular, if you’re interested in exploring, check out some of the helpful Q+A posts in which she answers questions from readers. Lots of dominant inspiration!

Submissive Guy Comics

A lovely take on female dominance and male submission from the perspective of a submissive. Submissive Guy draws some incredibly cute, very sexy pictures of couples in strikingly real situations. The hotness comes not just from the scenarios but from the realism – there are no PVC corsets and spiky stilettoes here, as all the pictures show men and women getting it on. It’s cute as well as sexy.

In particular, check out one of the most romantic pictures he’s ever drawn. A glass of wine and an adoring man just waiting to please – what more could anyone want?

Dumb Domme

We’ve saved the best for last! Based in the US, Dumb Domme is witty, sexy and touching all at the same time. Her blog charts the ups and downs of her dominance, and gives you a real glimpse into what life is like as a Domme.

In particular, check out her Q + A page, in which she cuts through the bullshit and sends submissive men crying for their mums.

Want to explore your dominant side?

If you’re feeling inspired, the best way to start exploring your dominant side is to talk to your partner about your fantasies. Perhaps pick some posts from the blog above and use them to start a discussion. If it’s game on, we’ve got plenty of bondage equipment to get you started – whether you’re after a sensual silk blindfold or even your own riding crop.
Who knows – maybe soon you’ll be kitting out your own red room of pain…

Guides Sex Toys

Is your partner jealous of your sex toys?

Is your partner jealous of your sex toys?

This month is Adult Sex Ed Month – check out the AdultSexEd website for lots of great discussion on how to have better sex. As a contribution to greater adult sex education, GoodDirtyWoman put forward an interesting article from her archives all about sex toy insecurity.

Some of you may know the feeling, or have been on the receiving end of a bit of appendage anxiety. A nervous worry that a sex toy counts as a replacement – a new and different feeling that might usurp what you can do with your own body. As GWDM explains, it’s the idea that “Gee, you’ve got that. Why do you need me?”

Cara Sutra took on the topic as well, with a fairly surprising revelation that some people may go one step further, and think of private play with sex toys as ‘cheating’. Well, you’re technically getting an orgasm from something other than your beau, so is there a worry that it might count as infidelity?

Both bloggers offer a conclusive ‘hell no!’

Sex toys are nothing to be jealous of

The main reason, of course, is that sex is about far more than just pressing the right buttons or stimulating the perfect spots. Sex with a partner is about sharing pleasure and intimacy – giving and receiving and mutual enjoyment. A sex toy can no more replace a person than it can have its own orgasm.

The old cliché about sex toys not being able to put the bins out is true – there’s a hell of a lot more to a partnership than just the ins-and-outs, so to speak. Although we’re often understandably more nervous about being replaced for sex, there are plenty of other partnership roles that we’re happy to outsource without worrying that we’re being replaced. If you traditionally look after your partner by cooking delicious romantic meals, you probably wouldn’t worry about being replaced if you both ordered a takeaway every now and then, or if you popped out for the evening and your partner microwaved a ready meal.

The truth is that sex toys can be used for a million different reasons: one person might use a toy because it brings them to climax really efficiently, or because when they’re on their own they need something more substantial than their own hand. Another might only use sex toys to enhance stimulation while they’re having sex with their partner. In this case, being jealous of the toy itself constitutes a really wasted opportunity: while you’re sulking about the extras in the bedroom, you could instead be finding ways to use it to blow your partner’s mind.

Male partners using sex toys?

Until very recently, sex toys were presented as a very female thing – from the Sex and the City girls passing round a rabbit vibrator to house parties where women would choose the latest from a range of bullet vibes and dildos, male sex toys rarely got a look in.

Now, of course, male sex toys are hitting the mainstream in a big way – not just couple’s toys but plugs and sheaths that men can use on their own. Does this mean the debate on sex toy use will go away? With more men embracing sex toys, and both people in a couple enjoying solo sessions with a vibrator or a masturbation sheath, perhaps there will be fewer insecurities from both sides. Whether you’re male or female, in a straight couple or a gay one, we’d love to know your thoughts – are you or your partner uncomfortable with toys, or do you enjoy the added dimension in your sex life?

Guides Sex Toys

What are the best selling sex toys?

What are the best selling sex toys?

One of the best ways to decide which sex toy to buy is by looking at reviews and other customers’ experience. Obviously everyone is different, and there are individual preferences when it comes to power, size, and style. But we thought to help you decide we’d give you a run-down of the top five best selling sex toys on our site.

Our customers clearly have good taste – our top five is a showcase of some of the most beautiful and innovative sex toy design on the market. So without further ado, let’s begin the best selling sex toy countdown…

Number 5 – a stylish sex toy with perfect power

In at 5 – The Lelo Ora. When it comes to sex toys, Lelo is synonymous with style and quality. Today’s sex toys are a far cry from the buzzy, battery-laden jelly things that were on the market ten years ago, and it’s companies like Lelo that have helped to turn things around.

The Ora is a beautifully-designed oral sex simulator. Sweeps and swirls, as well as an intense power setting, help the Ora to recreate the sensation of oral sex.

Number 4 – king of the wand toys

At number 4 – it’s the Doxy Wand Massager. What’s so good about the Doxy? Well, as Lelo is a game-changing company in terms of design, Doxy is a game-changing company in terms of power. Their wand is the most powerful mains-operated wand on the market. Deep, rumbling vibrations controlled by simple buttons mean that this easy-to-use, intense toy is on almost everyone’s wish list.

Number 3 – a new kind of rabbit vibrator

Number 3 is the Lelo Soraya, and just one look at it is enough to tell you why. Not only is it stunningly beautiful – as all Lelo toys are – but it is also designed to hit just the right spots. A rabbit-style vibrator, the Soraya has a key difference that sets it apart from other similar toys: the clitoral stimulator is incredibly flexible, meaning you can position it so that it vibrates in just the right place for you.

Number 2 – a familiar name

At number two, just missing out on the very top spot, it’s The Doxy Wand massager again. No, your eyes aren’t decieving you – this is such a popular product that it appears in our top five twice – once on its own (for £69) and once as part of our promotional bundle, where you get the Doxy as well as a gorgeous glass dildo and some lube to get you going all for just £89. See? That’s why it’s on a lot of wish lists!

The number 1 best selling sex toy

And (drumroll please) the number one bestselling sex toy here at Belle de Soir is the We Vibe 4. A relatively new type of toy, the We Vibe is designed for couples to use during penetrative sex. The vibrations will not only stimulate you internally and externally, your partner will be able to feel them during penetration. A genuine couple’s experience designed to give equal pleasure to both of you.

It comes in pink or purple, and because it’s such a popular sex toy, we’re offering it in a special promotional vibrator bundle – you can get the We Vibe 4 as well as the amazing Euphoria G-spot vibrator (together worth more than £180) for just £109. So if you’re looking to treat yourself, you you can choose the best selling sex toy on Belle de Soir, knowing you’re in very good company!

Guides Sex

Things we learned during National Masturbation Month

Things we learned during National Masturbation Month

If you read a lot of sex and relationships news, you’ll probably have noticed that May is National Masturbation Month. A whole month of celebrating the benefits of masturbation and discussing new and interesting ways to spice up your solo sex life.

The origin of National Masturbation Month

The idea of celebrating masturbation was sparked by a controversial incident in 1994. US Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was speaking at a UN forum, and was asked whether masturbation should be taught as part of the sex education curriculum. Responding that she thought it should, she explained that it was “something that is a part of human sexuality.”

The statement, which we’d see as pretty clear and uncontroversial twenty years later, caused a fair amount of outrage at the time, and Jocelyn was fired by President Bill Clinton.

Of course she’s right – masturbation is a part of human sexuality. And in response to her getting fired, a US-based sex toy company sparked the idea of a regular celebration of masturbation.

At Belle de Soir we’re keen to encourage people to embrace their solo sex life just as much as the sex they have with partners. Over the course of National Masturbation Month we’ve been keeping track of some of the great blog posts and articles on the topic of self-love. Here are five things we’ve learned this month.

Five things we’ve learned about Masturbation Month

1. From TheRedheadBedhead, we learned about some common masturbation myths including the fact that you don’t just have to use a clitoral vibrator in one position!

2. From Debra Hyde at Clitical, we learned that no matter what your age, it’s never too late to discover the delights of masturbation.

3. Over at A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind, we learned some excellent wrist exercises. Useful for gentlemen to stay supple for masturbation, or for the women who’d like to limber up before they give him a treat.

4. From Better after 50 we learned about why it can be difficult for people of older generations to openly discuss masturbation, and how to shake off the shame and embrace your pleasure.

5. (Because we just can’t resist throwing a fun one in at the end) Cara Sutra taught us that geeks often do it better, with an incredibly sexy masturbation fantasy about being naked at a Star Trek party. Can anyone top this for quirky National Masturbation Month fantasies? It’s a tough challenge, but if you can boldly go there…