Observer sex survey

Observer sex survey – what is the sexual ‘average’?

This week the Observer released some data from a huge sex survey, carried out across the whole of the UK. Their aim was to update results they’d gathered in 2008, and find out whether anything significant had changed since they first peeked into our bedrooms six years ago….

Now, before we go any further it’s worth pointing out that the survey has been criticised by academic researchers in the field – not least by Dr Petra Boynton, who explained exactly why the 2008 survey was flawed:

Observer=latest to churn out poor sex study a follow up on shonky effort from 2008 /cont

— Petra Boynton (@DrPetra) September 28, 2014

So we’re not going to tell you that the survey results are right, but they do raise some interesting questions and provide a good opportunity to explore what matters to each of us, so we thought we’d throw one of the biggest questions open to you.

How often do you have sex each month?

One of the headline findings from their research was – they announced – that couples in the UK seem to be having much less sex now than they did six years ago. In 2008 they reported that the ‘average’ was seven times a month, but in 2014 that has apparently gone down to just four times a month.

Some people reported having sex up to thirty times a month – roughly once a day – while others said that in a typical month they’d probably not have sex at all.

Thing is, an average here can be pretty meaningless when you’re talking about people’s sex lives. Why? Because sex isn’t necessarily about quantity – having an awesome sex life is all about making sure that you’re enjoying what you’re doing when you’re doing it. Some couples will have an ‘ideal’ number of once or twice a week, whereas others will prefer to have sex far more frequently. Others might rather skip quickies but have one amazing night together each month.

We often hear the question of whether size matters – but does quantity matter to you? When survey figures like this are reported there’s often a lot of sadness that people aren’t having sex as frequently as they used to be, but what if the sex people are having is better and more fulfilling?

With more sex toys on the market – for women, men, and for couples to use together – our regular sex lives may have changed beyond what past generations could imagine. At Belle de Soir we want people to have pleasurable, passionate sex – whether they’re having it once a month or three times a day.

What do you think? Is there an ‘average’ that you aim for in your relationship? Would you be disappointed if you and your partner had less sex? Or are you happy with the amount you’re getting at the moment?

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